Prapat , I'm cominggggg

Tomorrow will be the greatest day in my life. I'm going to Prapat for the first time in my life. hell yeahhhhhh..

I've just finished packing my stuff. I feel so exhausted.

Oh ya , all of my friends keep arguing about mister K. Hmm.. he always makes everyone curious. hehehe. I wish I could tell them the truth. Well , perhaps I will. Everyone always wants to hear the truth.. until it hurts.

Happy beautiful day ppl *loveyou *muachh-muachh

****

*just finished my packing*



*my lips are sealed*

F*CK !!

Sometimes it's better to be alone, no one can hurt you in any way. I'm really tired of being judge for who I'm not , stab for what I don't and gossip for those shits !!

Sometimes people are just fake as their D&G's underwear.. Is it hard to say : hey dude , I hate you so much so go F*CK urself.. rather than : hey dude , you're my best friend forever.. I love you so muach-muach.. but the truth is they hate him so damn much !

I prefer to be told with the first one , even it's hurting me , but at least I know the truth. Geez.. Nothing really makes sense in this world..

*****

Song of the day : Glenn Fredly - Cuma Kamu

Saat mata-mata tertuju tajam padaku
Hanya kau yang selalu tersenyum
Saat kata-kata menghujam dalam jantungku
Hanya kau yang menghibur aku

Saat mereka menghina aku
Kau genggam tanganku
Kau bisikkan tulusnya cinta
Kepadaku

Cuma kamu yang mengerti
Apa isi hati yang hancur selama ini
Cuma kamu yang pahami
Apa adanya diriku selama ini

Cuma kamu..

The Shape of Your Looking Glass

You show me the world

by the shape of your looking glass

You make me easy to see

the colours in this world

Yellow , pink , green , blue

You color my day

The more I feel the more I see

the way you make me want to live

You left my words dry on my mouth

so much on my head ,

but nothing on my tongue

As much as it may seem , sounds and feels..

I wanna reach the world with you..

*****

This poem is dedicated for someone who had shown me the meaning of this life..

Brand New Day

Today's mood : Happy-shopping-day-with-mom :D

Yesterday someone sent a picture of me. It's candid.. Awwww.. I love it ! Thank youuuu..

Song of the day : Brand New Day - Joshua Radin

Some kind of magic
Happens late at night
When the moon smiles down on me
And bathes me in it’s light

I fell asleep beneath you
In the tall blades of grass
When I woke the world was new
I never had to ask

( reff ) It’s a brand new day
The sun is shinning
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know
I’ll be ok

Most kind of stories
Save the best part for last
Most stories have a hero who finds
You make your past your past
Ya you make your past your past

(reff )

This cycle never ends
Gotta fall in order to mend

And it’s a brand new day
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
Inn such a long long time
I know
I’ll be ok

Nothing Makes Sense in This Damn World

"...and she will fool everyone with her smile and pretend laugh and pretend that everything is ok, even though its not ok. It was never ok for her. And when someone asks her "How are you?" and she replies "I'm fine" she knows she's lying because she's not fine.. And she longs for that someone to look into her eyes and tell her to tell him the truth because he can tell that she's not ok...And she knows that he'll be her soulmate and that she'll want to be with him forever just because he care.. "

Someone sent me this note yesterday at 3 am , I don't why but I guess there's something he wanna tell me..

I Heart My Family

Lahir dari latar belakang keluarga multi-etnis membuat gw merasa berbeda dari yang laen sejak gw kecil. Papa yg beretnis Cina – Jawa banyak menurunkan gen fenotip nya ke gw melalui mata gw yg cipit , hidung , warna kulit , rambut hingga tinggi badan. Sedangkan mama yang campuran banyak ( emg gado-gado hehehe ) tapi lebih dominan ke Minang – Sunda banyak mewariskan sifat-sifat ketimurannya ke gw. Awalnya gw merasa sama kaya anak2 lainnya. Duduk di skolah yg sama , belajar bersama plus maen bersama. Sampai pada suatu saat , temen2 gw yg notabene orang Chinese ngejek2 gw dgn istilah huana.. huana.. yg arti harafiahnya mgkn org pribumi. Gw sich awalnya biasa2 aja diejek begituan , ga ngaruh.. Tapi lama kelamaan gw mulai kehilangan teman2 gw satu per satu. Mereka menganggap org pribumi engga pantas berteman dgn org Chinese.

Mulai dari sanalah awalnya gw merasa emg gw berbeda dari yang laen. Begitu juga dgn lingkungan pertemanan gw dgn org pribumi. Mereka merasa gw terlalu putih untuk ukuran pribumi dan mereka jg ngehina gw dengan ejekan rasisme : Cina cipit Cina makan babi.. Wuihhh.. kadang2 anak kecil juga bisa berbuat hal yg keji yaa. Hehehe..

Gw sempat merasa kehilangan jati diri. Gw berusaha mencari lingkungan dimana seharusnya gw berada. Gw lalu cerita ke papa mama tentang apa yg gw alami , papa lantas berkata ke gw kalo gw emg berbeda. Jadi gw harus menutupi jati diri gw yg sebenarnya , kalo gw mau punya banyak teman. Jadilah gw selama bertahun-tahun menutupi jati diri gw yg sbenarnya sampai saat dimana gw bertemu dgn orang2 yg nerima gw apa adanya. Di lingkungan sepermainan gw , gw bertemu dgn David , Hendry , Roy dan Erick. Mereka ga peduli dengan latar belakang keluarga gw. Yang mereka peduliin cuma maen , maen dan maen.. hehehe. Gw merasa nyaman maen bareng mereka.

Di les , gw punya banyak teman yang sayang gw apa adanya. Mereka adalah Keiko , Erwin , Justin , Prawira , Bang Andre , Kak Deva dan Ko Thamry. Mereka lah orang2 yg buat gw mulai nerima diri gw apa adanya. Sayangnya bbrp diantara mereka uda lost contact , ga tau dimana. Huhuhu *I miss them so damn much*

Hmmm.. tapi itu semua cerita lama. Skrg gw cinta diri gw sendiri apa adanya. Banyak koq teman2 gw yg tahu tentang latar belakang keluar gw. Malah banyak yg menganggap blasteran kaya gw itu keren. Hahaha.. Gw jadi belajar menghargai semua perbedaan yg ada. Mau etnis apapun itu , semua sama di mata Tuhan. ( wess. pinter bgt gw.. hehehehe )

Anw , Happy January people ! Love urself so others will love you back *love&hugs *muachhmuachh

*******

*I heart my dad*

*I heart my mom*

*Siblings stick together*

*here I am the gado-gado kid*

Flashback

Song of the day : Be My Lady - Sandy

Since i’ve known you babe
You were a light for me
But there’s no yours sincerely
Build me a world to believe

But still there’s a doubt
in you for loving me
Though deep down inside
You see what’s in me

Be my lady be the one
and great things will come to our heart
you’re my lady you’re my one
give me chance to show you love

*****

This song really reminds me of someone. He's my best friend , my best brotha , my teacher , my clown and my lil' daddy.. hahaha..

I bet he will read this post and smile. hehehe. But hey mister K , all I wanna tell you is stop worrying about me. I'm not a cry full baby anymore. I'll promise you I'll always remember that I am braver than I believe , stronger than I seem and smarter than I thought..

Manage me , I'm a hot mess !

Today's mood : dizzy-lizzy but sexy :D

Song of the day : Cobra Starship - Hot Mess

p.s. I love this song ! It makes me feel like wanna jump to the dancefloor. hehehe

You were a problem child
been grounded your whole life
So now you runnin wild
playin with them good girls
no that ain't your style.
You think you're hot shit and I love it
I love it yeah, yeah

( reff )Stumblin but yeah you still lookin hella fine
Keep doin what your doin and Ima make you mine
Well you're a hot mess and I'm fallin for you
And I'm like "hot damn, lemme make you my boo."
Cuz you can shake it, shake it, shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!

Got me hypnotized
the city's your play ground
I watch you take a bite
at 5 a.m. roamin the streets
drunk all night
You think you're hot shit
and oh I love it
I love it yeah yeah

( reff )

You're a hot mess and I'm fallin for you
And I'm like "hot damn, lemme make you my boo."
Cuz you can shake it, shake it, shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!

If you're dancin up on tables you go, you go, you got it girl
Say that you're unstable you go, go go, you got it girl
Dancin up on tables
Say that your unstable
You're a ha-ha-ha-ha-hot
Yeah you're a hot mess!
Ha-ha-ha-ha-hot
We're sayin hell yes!

( reff )

You're a hot mess and I'm falling for you
And I'm like "hot damn, lemme make you my boo."
Cuz you can shake it, shake it, shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!

(Hell yes!)
Hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!
(Hell yes!)
Hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!

Woo-hoo !