Sunday, 17 January 2010

I Heart My Family

Lahir dari latar belakang keluarga multi-etnis membuat gw merasa berbeda dari yang laen sejak gw kecil. Papa yg beretnis Cina – Jawa banyak menurunkan gen fenotip nya ke gw melalui mata gw yg cipit , hidung , warna kulit , rambut hingga tinggi badan. Sedangkan mama yang campuran banyak ( emg gado-gado hehehe ) tapi lebih dominan ke Minang – Sunda banyak mewariskan sifat-sifat ketimurannya ke gw. Awalnya gw merasa sama kaya anak2 lainnya. Duduk di skolah yg sama , belajar bersama plus maen bersama. Sampai pada suatu saat , temen2 gw yg notabene orang Chinese ngejek2 gw dgn istilah huana.. huana.. yg arti harafiahnya mgkn org pribumi. Gw sich awalnya biasa2 aja diejek begituan , ga ngaruh.. Tapi lama kelamaan gw mulai kehilangan teman2 gw satu per satu. Mereka menganggap org pribumi engga pantas berteman dgn org Chinese.

Mulai dari sanalah awalnya gw merasa emg gw berbeda dari yang laen. Begitu juga dgn lingkungan pertemanan gw dgn org pribumi. Mereka merasa gw terlalu putih untuk ukuran pribumi dan mereka jg ngehina gw dengan ejekan rasisme : Cina cipit Cina makan babi.. Wuihhh.. kadang2 anak kecil juga bisa berbuat hal yg keji yaa. Hehehe..

Gw sempat merasa kehilangan jati diri. Gw berusaha mencari lingkungan dimana seharusnya gw berada. Gw lalu cerita ke papa mama tentang apa yg gw alami , papa lantas berkata ke gw kalo gw emg berbeda. Jadi gw harus menutupi jati diri gw yg sebenarnya , kalo gw mau punya banyak teman. Jadilah gw selama bertahun-tahun menutupi jati diri gw yg sbenarnya sampai saat dimana gw bertemu dgn orang2 yg nerima gw apa adanya. Di lingkungan sepermainan gw , gw bertemu dgn David , Hendry , Roy dan Erick. Mereka ga peduli dengan latar belakang keluarga gw. Yang mereka peduliin cuma maen , maen dan maen.. hehehe. Gw merasa nyaman maen bareng mereka.

Di les , gw punya banyak teman yang sayang gw apa adanya. Mereka adalah Keiko , Erwin , Justin , Prawira , Bang Andre , Kak Deva dan Ko Thamry. Mereka lah orang2 yg buat gw mulai nerima diri gw apa adanya. Sayangnya bbrp diantara mereka uda lost contact , ga tau dimana. Huhuhu *I miss them so damn much*

Hmmm.. tapi itu semua cerita lama. Skrg gw cinta diri gw sendiri apa adanya. Banyak koq teman2 gw yg tahu tentang latar belakang keluar gw. Malah banyak yg menganggap blasteran kaya gw itu keren. Hahaha.. Gw jadi belajar menghargai semua perbedaan yg ada. Mau etnis apapun itu , semua sama di mata Tuhan. ( wess. pinter bgt gw.. hehehehe )

Anw , Happy January people ! Love urself so others will love you back *love&hugs *muachhmuachh

*******

*I heart my dad*

*I heart my mom*

*Siblings stick together*

*here I am the gado-gado kid*

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Flashback

Song of the day : Be My Lady - Sandy

Since i’ve known you babe
You were a light for me
But there’s no yours sincerely
Build me a world to believe

But still there’s a doubt
in you for loving me
Though deep down inside
You see what’s in me

Be my lady be the one
and great things will come to our heart
you’re my lady you’re my one
give me chance to show you love

*****

This song really reminds me of someone. He's my best friend , my best brotha , my teacher , my clown and my lil' daddy.. hahaha..

I bet he will read this post and smile. hehehe. But hey mister K , all I wanna tell you is stop worrying about me. I'm not a cry full baby anymore. I'll promise you I'll always remember that I am braver than I believe , stronger than I seem and smarter than I thought..

Friday, 15 January 2010

Manage me , I'm a hot mess !


Today's mood : dizzy-lizzy but sexy :D

Song of the day : Cobra Starship - Hot Mess

p.s. I love this song ! It makes me feel like wanna jump to the dancefloor. hehehe

You were a problem child
been grounded your whole life
So now you runnin wild
playin with them good girls
no
that ain't your style.
You think you're hot shit and I love it

I love it yeah, yeah

( reff )Stumblin but yeah you still lookin hella fine
Keep doin what your doin and Ima make you mine
Well you're a hot mess and I'm fallin for you
And I'm like "hot damn, lemme make you my boo."
Cuz you can shake it, shake it, shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!

Got me hypnotized
the city's your play ground
I watch you take a bite
at 5 a.m. roamin the streets
drunk all night
You think you're hot shit
and oh I love it
I love it yeah yeah

( reff )

You're a hot mess and I'm fallin for you
And I'm like "hot damn, lemme make you my boo."
Cuz you can shake it, shake it, shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!

If you're dancin up on tables you go, you go, you got it girl
Say that you're unstable you go, go go, you got it girl
Dancin up on tables
Say that your unstable
You're a ha-ha-ha-ha-hot
Yeah you're a hot mess!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-hot
We're sayin hell yes!

( reff )

You're a hot mess and I'm falling for you
And I'm like "hot damn, lemme make you my boo."
Cuz you can shake it, shake it, shake it

Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!

(Hell yes!)
Hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!
(Hell yes!)
Hot mess
I'm lovin it hell yes!


Woo-hoo !



Thursday, 14 January 2010

Untitled

Dear my lamest blog ,
Elo bakal ngerti rasanya terjebak dalam sensasi segar seperti tersiram air dingin dari pegunungan di hari yang panas , kalo elo ketemu dgn mister mucho kaya yang gw alami semalam. hehehehe..

Kayanya dulu gw pernah ngalamin nya , tapi uda lamaaaaa bgt.. Hmm.. is it a sign ? Entahlah..

Di waktu gw sedang ga ngelakuin apa-apa , gw iseng buka profile nya trus ngelihat foto-foto nya. Ternyata gw semakin menginginkannya , semakin merindukannya..

Aneh bgt ya , blog ! Tapi biarlah itu menjadi rahasia kita dan dunia yaa.. hehehe

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Wednesday , I'm in Love

Tonight's mood : Wednesday , I'm in Love.. hehehe. Thank you mister mucho for relieving my mood. Thank you for yogurt and salmon fettucini too. Because of you guys , I can forget my low blood pressure and those stupid problems. hahaha

Song of the day : I'm walking away - Craig David


( Reff ) I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away

sometimes some people get me wrong
when it's something I've said or done
sometimes you feel there is no fun
that's why you turn and run
but now I truly realize
some people don't wanna compromise
well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies
and well I don't wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights i'm sorry to say lady

( Reff )

Well I'm so tired baby
things you say you're driving me away
whispers in the powder room baby
don't listen to the games they play
girl I thought you'd realise
I'm not like them other guys
coz I saw them with my own eyes
you should've been more wise
and well I don't wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
not mentioning the fights I'm sorry to say lady

( Reff )

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

I'm pissed off

Behind the smile, behind the courage, behind the laughter, lies the hurt, the pain, the sorrow. Behind the mask, lies me. The me you never took the time to get to know.

I'm really pissed off :(

When words are unspeakable , I am off to the limits. Bye

Soulmate Prayer

Heavenly Father, God, Most Gracious and Loving Creator, I ask that You abundantly bless me with my perfect soul mate, a beautiful soul that is for our highest good and may we experience our greatest joy together!

I now hold the prayer and vision of this blessing and gift for my soul mate to enter my life all in perfect divine timing!

I give thanks now as I KNOW AND TRUST in You and Your Blessings.

Father, GOD, I stand in Faith KNOWING this Prayer right now is bringing my soul mate into my life.

I stand in FAITH as I remember that to have faith inside my heart, is sufficient to manifest MIRACLES and Your Blessings.

I thank you now Beloved God Creator for all the Blessings I have received and for the Blessings yet to come!

and so it is… AMEN

*****

Huwaaa.. What a beautiful prayer. A friend of mine taught me this prayer. He believes it can help to protect the one we love ( Amen )

Talking about love , it’s like strolling in the dessert. It’s never end. There’s happiness , sadness , guilt , anger , infatuation , addiction and bla-bla-bla in one package. Can you imagine how complicated it is , rite ?

That’s why , there’s variety reactions appeared from my friends when heard the worship topic for today , “What is Love ?” There’s sigh , sham , excitement and so on. Presumably , the sigh and sham ones taught that *eeww* it was so-last-year-yet-uncool-topic. But honestly , I was part of the excitement ones. Hehehe..

The only reason why is because I believe in love. Yes , true love. Maybe people will just laugh at me and say : What could make a lil’ daddy’s gurl like me talk about true love ?

Okay , perhaps it’s true that I’m still daddy’s lil gurl. But I believe that true love is exist. I’ve heard thousands of love songs and I’ve read thousands of love poems which was created by lovers to express their feelings. What a beautiful feeling , indeed.

Unfortunately , many people said that true love always come in unknown conditions. We don’t know who , when , where and why. So until that moment is come , I suggest to be happy to keep messing up with the wrong ones. hahaha

Happy mess day , people ! *love&hugs *xoxoxoxoxo

Song of the day : Do you believe in love by Craig David

Just one day
If I could hold you in my arms
Close to my heart where you belong
Love of my life you really are
Still be showering you with kisses like snow in winter
Remember back in the day we were like best of friends
But we were falling in love we never could pretend
Night after night we used to talk about me and you
The things we'd do together forever?

Do you believe in love?
And the promise that it brings
That you'll never grow apart
Well that's what she said to me
Why did you have to go?
We were inseparable
You and me will always be together for eternity

Just one day
If I could touch your face again
Words can't describe how I'm feeling
If I could turn back the hands of time
I'd still be holding on wishes that you left behind
Remember moments when there was nothing better than
A stroll in the park walking hand in hand
I'll never forget the times we talked about me and you
The things we do together forever

Do you believe in love?
And the promise that it brings
That you'll never grow apart
Well that's what she said to me
Why did you have to go?
We were inseparable
You and me will always be together for eternity

The words you said to me before you slipped away
Are still with me girl to this very day yeah
In everything I do to everything I say
You'll always be the sunshine in my life
And yes I believe in love

Do you believe in love?
And the promise that it brings
That you'll never grow apart
Well that's what she said to me
Why did you have to go?
We were inseparable
You and me will always be together for eternity [repeat]